It is not unusual for me to readjust my route when driving. Sometimes, I will purposely take myself off the main thoroughfare to drive down nearby side streets and back roads, even if it means adding a few extra minutes to my commute.
Why? To maintain my peace. Sometimes I don’t want to deal with the congestion and contentions of the popular route. I just want to drive home in an environment of less stress.
Stress is definitely at the top of many conversations. The world we live in is so hurried and demanding, that living like it wants us to live is almost unrealistic. Then, we throw in the relationships we are attached to, with their congestion and contentions, and we can get almost overwhelmed from maintaining them, let alone, finding peace in them.
Let’s talk about peace.
Before I go further into how to maintain the way of peace in your life, there’s something we need to know. The Bible gives us a very clear command to persevere in peace but is also realistic in the fact that every relationship may not spawn peace. It says, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men,” (Romans 12:18).
The words “if” and “possible” let us know that no matter how much you try, there may be others in the equation who opt not for peace. That’s why Paul further explains, “as much as lieth in you.” You can only do you and answer for you. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control our own actions.
If we are serious about learning how to deal with contentious people and situations and maintain a gentle, peaceful spirit, there are things we can try to incorporate into our lives today to foster the way of peace.
You don’t have to attend every argument that comes your way.
In 2 Timothy 2 it says, “And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men… in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves…” (vv. 24, 25). In truth, disagreements and opposition will come. Sometimes contentions will arise but that doesn’t mean we have to feed into it.
I’m new to the sourdough-making process and one thing I have learned is if you don’t properly feed your starter it won’t grow. Strife cannot continue to grow if you do not feed it. And yes, this will require a certain amount of self-control at times. The wisdom we find in Proverbs tells us, “A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife,” (Proverbs 15:18). How we respond can either add fuel to the fire or snuff out the flames, it can help or hurt. So, we must be prayerful about how we allocate our response or even if we are to respond at all. While we cannot avoid every disagreement, and some things will need an answer, we must be sure that what is before us and what we are being drawn into is actually something that needs for us to attend.
Let love operate.
Proverbs 10:12 tells us, “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins,” a truth that Peter echoes in 1 Peter 4:8. When, not if, we encounter wrongs, what is our immediate reaction? Is it to vent and billboard the offense all over town or instead of being reactive to defend and justify ourselves, do we choose to be proactive and approach the situation with control and a sound heart of love?
Often, we forget the frailty of humanity. Not only have we been wronged, but in our lives, there have been times when we have wronged others. And if the shoe were on the other foot, we would not want our mistakes plastered on a wall for the whole world to see.
This is a great fallacy with the rise of social media. People expose people, not only between individuals but for the whole world to see. That kind of hurt is hard to come back from. What should have been handled as private business (see Matthew 18:15) under the premise of love, now has other voices and opinions in the mix.
Only under certain circumstances do others need to be included (see Matthew 18:16, 17), and even then, as much as possible, is it to be done in a controlled and loving way: “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends,” (Proverbs 17:9).
Remember Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13:
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (vv. 4-7)
Choosing to operate in love will foster peace in our own lives.
Be still and know God.
The psalmist encourages us to, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10). When a storm threatened the ship, and the disciples were afraid, Jesus woke and spoke, “Peace, be still,” (Mark 4:39).
Remember that phrase we discussed earlier, “As much as lieth with you?” Even if you have chosen to refuse the invitation to the argument, and even if you have sought diligently to operate in love in the handling of the matter, sometimes that still will not bring the solution of peace you were looking for. What do you do then?
You still yourself before God and find your peace in Him and not in whether the circumstances are reaching the conclusion you thought they should.
Jesus shut the mouth of the storm with a word of peace. And we can shut down some stuff too when we get still and get with God who is to be the center of our peace.
In a world of noise, busyness, and chaos, the word stillness can be a beautiful respite from their loud demands. It beckons us to draw near to the quiet place of our confidence found in God alone.
Above all else, when everything around us fails, God does not. It is in Him we find our hope and consolation. We have peace in Him even if things on the outside do not seem to be working out right.
“Know that I am God.” There is so much in that statement alone, but one thing I want to point out is that the stillness we referred to earlier is not passive. Here we see, that for us to “know” God, there must be an active pursuit of Him. We are not sitting with our arms crossed and inactive. No, we are drawing nearer to Him, to know Him, to pursue Him.
Concerning the way of peace, the closer we get to God the more peace we will find, “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace,” (1 Corinthians 14:33). The more we draw nearer to understanding just who He is, the magnanimous impact of Him overshadows everything else.
Yahweh. The LORD. “I AM THAT I AM.” When we still ourselves before the truth of Him, we soon develop an intuitive knowing and trust that we cannot find anywhere else, and it covers us with a cloak of peace – comforting you and strengthening you to maintain your peace in the middle of your storm. It lets you know that not only do you not fight in this alone, but there are instances where you don’t have to fight at all because I choose to let the winds howl and the waves crash while I sit still in the peace of who God is in my life. That is my response, and no further response is needed – for God is my peace.
Counter to our culture, peace does not have to be elusive. But we will have to do some things to maintain the way of peace in our lives. “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another,” (Romans 14:19). And remember:
“Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.” Mark 9:50
And,
“The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace.” Psalm 29:11
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